William Shatner Roast on Comedy Central

Last night we spent an evening over at Matt Sparby’s [132” screen] Theater in anticipation of watching William Shatner get ‘roasted’ by his fellow actors. It started off brilliantly with a taped intro of Leonard Nimoy and Bill Shatner talking. Leonard kindly explains to Bill that he’s not going to roast him–because he loves him too much. There were a couple of funny digs but it left you with a good impression just before the roast began. Comedy Central also managed to wrangle the original Captain’s Chair from Star Trek to serve as a throne for their famous guest.

The roast was awful.

To put it simply the roast was vulgar and lame. Most of the people roasting him only knew him from a distance. out of all the cast members from the original Star Trek Nichele Nichols and George Takei were the only two to show up live. Jason Alexander was a perfect host and roasted and praised Shatner in a short segment worthy of the original Dean Martin roasts. Sadly most of the jokes ended up revolving around Sulu being gay and Andy Dick’s drug problems and sexual ambiguity.

There were taped segments of stars that had worked with him and some who hadn’t. Sandra Bullock (Miss Congeniality) was taped but not live. She would’ve been great if she’d been there to do her bit. Ben Stiller, who [to my knowledge] has never worked with–and after last night will likely NEVER work with Shatner, was completely irreverant and tasteless in his delivery. But the humor that Stiller displayed was no where near the buried-in-the basement level that such comedians as: Greg Giraldo, Lisa Lampanelli, Artie Lange, Patton Oswalt (was he even there) and/or Jeffrey Ross.

I don’t count Kevin Pollak or Fred Willard for two reasons. Pollak was at least respectful in his delivery and mildly funny. Fred Willard’s whole segment was completely removed from the show. Who knows why? Farrah Fawcett was present. And though her mind showed up a little late on a few of the jokes–she was still funnier than the crapshoot of F-List comedians they scrounged up to roast the legendary Bill Shatner.

The roast would’ve been more interesting if they had people that knew him better. For instance, James Spader (Boston Legal), Heather Locklear (TJ Hooker), the other living cast members (that can stand to be in the room with him) and any number of actors/actresses that can deliver a joke without using the f-word or flicking off the camera.

But I digress… the problems with the show didn’t just revolve around the vulgarity, potty-humor and guests. The show was poorly executed and edited as well. As I mentioned earlier Fred Willard appears no where except on the sidelines in the entire show. In addition to Willard being cut Andy Dick had a segment that was either too vulgar to show or was cut for time.

On the up side, I learned a few new things though. You can be any age and successfully bury any class that you might once have had. Betty White is a sad example of a woman that has no boundaries where her language and vulgarity are concerned. I do give her credit. She delivered her roast in a smooth and candid style only second to Jason Alexander’s. But the content left much to be desired.

The reason why the Dean Martin roasts worked (and still work today) is that the people surrounding the subject were friends and coworkers that enjoyed the company of the target. It allowed them to say a few obvious things and attack the person’s character based on rumors or their behavior in recent pop-culture. Aside from Martin himself, the roasters never repeatedly bashed someone for their drinking and being fat. If a fat joke is done once or maybe even twice… it’s funny. If every comedian tells a fat joke it means you need to work on your material. The roasts were candid and improvised. They didn’t read off of crumpled bits of paper that they used to rewrite yesterday’s monologue on. They had class. No one gave anyone the finger. Sexual orientation jokes were actually funnier because they didn’t describe graphic details of what one would like to do to that person. In short–they knew what they were doing and they took care and pride in being clever about their delivery. The so-called “roasters” last night made it look like the humor of Don Rickles could be appropriate on Sesame Street.

At the end of the roast, Shatner closed it out in a classic style. He attacked the roasters and [to my recollection] never once used the “F” word. He defended his decency and made the last minutes of the roast enjoyable. However, I’ll likely never enjoy a Comedy Central roast again–since the percentages don’t weigh-in.

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