Words for Life

A long time ago a friend played the parody song Deteriorata performed by Norman Rose for me. Having a relatively short attention span, I listened (not so carefully) to the song the first time–but remembered and quoted many phrases from the lyrics thereafter.

A few years ago I happened across a copy of the song on Dr. Demento’s 3rd compilation set entitled: Dimensia 2000. Just recently I purchased a copy of the actual CD copy of the original record from which I heard the song. Here I present you with the lyrics for your enjoyment. Though the printed lyrics are funny, it does not give you the true feeling of the song accompanied by Norman Rose’s fantastic voice. So if you have a chance–pick up one of the aforementioned albums and give it a listen. It’s fantabulous.

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Deteriorata
Performed by Norman Rose

From The Greatest Hits of the National Lampoon

(Intro)
You are a fluke of the Universe. You have no right to be here.
Deteriorata
Deteriorata

Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.

Know what to kiss and when.

Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three–do.

Wherever possible put people on “hold”.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

(Chorus)
You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here.
(and) Whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Remember the Pueblo.

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you;
That lemon on your left for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls,
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time, call 606-4311.
Ask for “Ken”.

Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog
Is finally getting enough cheese;
And reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

(Chorus)

You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore make peace with your God
Whatever you conceive him to be,
Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban-renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.

Give up.

(Chorus)