My Dad Passed Away October 16th. He was 55.

The details of this have been running in the newspapers and on the television. More is available at:

There are some details I’d like to cover with my friends and family who read this. Heather and I came off of a red-eye flight from our honeymoon to the news that my Dad had passed away. At first I didn’t believe it. Then I had to call my Mom because my phone had lost all of its numbers on the trip. She confirmed it. I won’t describe how she was on the phone–just imagine it and you will be right. The same went for my brother who had to learn of it from the television.

There is a range of emotions you go through when dealing with something like this–none of which I can adequately describe in this entry. All I can convey is that there has been a lot of crying, sorrow, pain and shock associated with this.

I’d like everyone to know first of all that the family is doing the best we can under the circumstances. Not thirty minutes ago, my mom finally ate a full meal at the dinner table. I’ve been making sure she takes her vitamins every morning and trying to keep her comforted. We all have. She depended so much on my Dad and I think she is genuinely scared–which doesn’t help when your mourning.

Heather and Wendy (my wife and brother’s wife) have been doing an unbelievable job of supporting us through this tough time. I am so lucky to have Heather here in my most desperate hour. She has been holding me up. Wendy is doing the same for Brian. And they both are doing it for my Mom.

We took Kasper (my mom and dad’s dog–though she claims mostly his) for a walk today. He enjoyed it very much.

We have WAY too much food. So I expect everyone to visit my moms place and eat something with us.

Finally I wanted to share something very important:

The media recently covered the story of my Dad’s accident. They tried to tell it from the typical ‘unbiased’ perspective that they are charged with. However, ratings are always a factor in such reports and I wanted to clarify some things for my close friends as I know all of you have been reading as much as you can to find out.

Yesterday, Channel 3 in Duluth, gave a news report and showed pictures of the boat that had been crippled and crushed against the shores of Superior. They prefaced the newscast by saying “Both the Kooyer Family and the Coast Guard want to inform more people of boat safety” or something very close to that. In the articles and on the broadcast the Coast Guard blames the fact that they were unable to rescue my Dad on the fact that “they had no location” and he could have been anywhere in from Bayfield to some other end of Superior. Here are some additional details that the media left out:

  1. When my Dad called he originally called on channel 16. This is the standard procedure when calling in a Mayday.
  2. He informed them he had about 5 minutes before his boat hit the rocks. Before he could get more out, they asked him to switch to a different channel. We think “22”. The Coast Guard then “lost contact”.
  3. When they recovered the boat and investigated they found it on channel 24. Now realize that these were four foot waves.
  4. The radio is located below the steering wheel and in the short time he had to react any number of things could have occurred while the boat was pitching left to right. He knew he was in trouble.
  5. He grabbed all of his belongings including his wallet, keys and even his iPod and attempted to get on shore.
  6. He made it to shore and was alive and well and OFF of the boat. No thanks to the Coast Guard.
  7. He tried to save the damn boat. This is what ulitmately caused his death.

The thing that has bothered all of us though is this: The Coast Guard gracefully dodged addressing their policy on camera or in print. They didn’t even mention that they asked him to change channels and lost contact. If they had spent 15 seconds with him on channel 16 and simply asked his location before telling him to switch over he would STILL BE ALIVE.

I know this may read as a very frustrated and saddened young man mourning for his Dad. All of that is true. We’re not blaming the Coast Guard for their mistakes. We simply believe their policy is flawed.

I needed to do that for me, my brother, my mom and all of my family who believe that in order to invoke change you have to speak out. Brian and I called the television station today. We spoke to Maureen the head of the Newsroom there and she offered to interview us and give us the chance to tell it from our perspective and to tell them of the communication flaw in the Coast Guard’s current procedure. We were to go at 2pm. We decided that my Dad would just tell us to “let it go”–and that the media might make it worse.

Thanks again to everyone for sending us your love and support.

Adam K.

5 thoughts on “My Dad Passed Away October 16th. He was 55.”

  1. originaly posted:
    October 18th, 2005 at 9:47 am

    I just returned to work this morning and heard about your dad. I am so very very sorry. I hope you and your family are able to support each other through this horrible time. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

    Love ya,

  2. Originaly posted:
    October 19th, 2005 at 3:06 pm

    I just heard through the grapevine about your father’s accident. I’m sorry to hear such tragic news. Your father was always very kind to me and great fun to be with. Thinking of you and your family.

  3. Adam,

    I wish I could be with you, Brian, and your mom. Please give them my love. I am still in shock and it’s all very unreal to me, especially since I’m so far away. I’m glad I found your web site, as I hadn’t heard yet about the memorial or the details of the accident which you describe. When my kids were little, I asked Glenn for his advice on raising kids, since you two turned out so wonderfully. His advice was, “you just have to love them.”

    Even though I didn’t see or talk to you guys very often, please know that you are all very dear to me. I hope I get the chance to meet your wife sometime and congratulations on your marriage.

    Hugs and love,

    your aunt Charlene

  4. It has been a long time since I have seen you but occasionally still read your blog. I heard about your father’s death and I want you to know I am thinking of you and your family.

    It was such a tragic accident but one I can totally understand having tried to physically stop my car (I was standing outside of it) from rolling down a hill with my infant son inside of it. You are in the moment, trying to save something important to you and in that split second you don’t think of the possible consequences you just react. Luckily for me I was not hurt and either was my son but it could have turned out so much worse.

    It is good to know that you have such wonderful family and friends around you to help you through this. I am assuming that boating is something your father loved to do so maybe you can take some comfort in that he spent his last day doing what he loved.


  5. Adam,
    We’re shocked and saddened by the news of your Dad’s Death. Our love and prayers go to you, your mom, Brian and the rest of our family.

    I thought the Duluth paper article read kinda fishy about the coast guard not knowing where your dad was. At the best it sounded like a reporter who had no clue about anything.


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